








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 453 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2205 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3900 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1662 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3060 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,369,394 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmeaL | 52% | 149 |
| #2 | HOUND-_- | 52% | 299 |
| #3 | B E N N Y Z | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | bunneeh | 47% | 92 |
| #5 | Jizmo | 46% | 238 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | 43% | 53 |
| #9 | icedstev0 | 41% | 32 |
| #10 | Bloodyy | 40% | 52 |
| #11 | arT | 40% | 77 |
| #12 | ☢F1sh☢ | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOUND-_- | 44 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Jizmo | 39 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | 16 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | Bloodyy | 11 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | Jesus31 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOUND-_- | 1406 | 0.22 | 36 min |
| #2 | Jizmo | 995 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #3 | booleaN | 435 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | SmeaL | 387 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | Jesus31 | 332 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunneeh | +2.95 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | icedstev0 | +2.37 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | SmeaL | +1.08 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | B E N N Y Z | +0.96 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | +0.94 | 81 | 70 |





