








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 432 | 24% |
| Smokes | 466 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 436 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,345 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ziko | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | azure | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Rizky | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | costco hotdog | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Clarky | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Globalik | 42% | 33 |
| #10 | YummyBumFingers | 40% | 25 |
| #11 | Tlgpro | 36% | 22 |
| #12 | jack | 33% | 12 |
| #13 | GP⭐ | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tlgpro | 10 | 0.0220 |
| #2 | Clarky | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Lou | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Globalik | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | jack | 3 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Globalik | 166 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | Liam #drz | 135 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Clarky | 119 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lou | 114 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | azure | 108 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | costco hotdog | +4.33 | 93 | 50 |
| #2 | Lou | +2.98 | 87 | 48 |
| #3 | azure | +2.26 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | Synx | +0.93 | 66 | 38 |
| #5 | YummyBumFingers | +0.80 | 84 | 45 |





