








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3027 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3004 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4867 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4004 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,514 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Louj. | 57% | 114 |
| #2 | Clarky | 56% | 242 |
| #3 | Globalik | 53% | 244 |
| #4 | YummyBumFingers | 52% | 99 |
| #5 | Mike | 51% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Liam #drz | 51% | 75 |
| #7 | jack | 49% | 63 |
| #8 | Tlgpro | 48% | 97 |
| #9 | Synx | 46% | 52 |
| #10 | azure | 45% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Globalik | 38 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Clarky | 34 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Tlgpro | 33 | 0.0176 |
| #4 | Louj. | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Mike | 10 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Globalik | 1122 | 0.22 | 30 min |
| #2 | Clarky | 756 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | Mike | 483 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | azure | 344 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Liam #drz | 264 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou | +3.61 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | Synx | +1.06 | 68 | 35 |
| #3 | azure | +0.62 | 76 | 51 |
| #4 | YummyBumFingers | +0.47 | 81 | 33 |
| #5 | Liam #drz | +0.38 | 64 | 65 |





