








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1010 | 22% |
| Smokes | 889 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1424 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1268 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,353 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rakuz | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | d3bo | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Vlhalla | 61% | 137 |
| #4 | ToodlesGaming | 59% | 135 |
| #5 | Raix | 58% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Raix | 58% | 171 |
| #6 | YoshiTheTaxEvadingNonce | 58% | 59 |
| #7 | balls 在线翻译服务 | 51% | 47 |
| #8 | Sh4duw | 47% | 100 |
| #9 | nameless. | 41% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raix | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ToodlesGaming | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | nameless. | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Vlhalla | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Sh4duw | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raix | 630 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Vlhalla | 417 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | ToodlesGaming | 347 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sh4duw | 312 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | nameless. | 180 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vlhalla | +3.82 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Raix | +1.35 | 65 | 66 |
| #3 | ToodlesGaming | +1.15 | 48 | 55 |
| #4 | nameless. | +0.65 | 58 | 58 |
| #5 | Sh4duw | +0.23 | 56 | 60 |





