








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3258 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5964 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3552 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3560 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,839 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heros5k | 75% | 60 |
| #2 | Smarty1811 | 65% | 40 |
| #3 | Melio | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | JuliaPapayaa | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | Meger | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JuliaPapayaa | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | Meger | 50% | 38 |
| #6 | Sawanjio | 50% | 50 |
| #7 | T o s i c | 49% | 133 |
| #8 | machtnix. | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T o s i c | 19 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Sawanjio | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Heros5k | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | JuliaPapayaa | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Melio | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T o s i c | 428 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Heros5k | 150 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sawanjio | 115 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Meger | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Smarty1811 | 79 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heros5k | +3.85 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | schwimmer1 | +1.49 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | Sawanjio | +0.78 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | Melio | +0.60 | 70 | 44 |
| #5 | Meger | -0.19 | 85 | 57 |





