








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4958 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5988 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4201 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5293 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,005,341 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiptroS | 77% | 31 |
| #2 | ✪HYPER | 75% | 40 |
| #3 | Heros5k | 66% | 183 |
| #4 | RedSlyer | 64% | 125 |
| #5 | Melio | 63% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | iskyline | 50% | 38 |
| #12 | eI drifto | 50% | 48 |
| #13 | schwimmer1 | 50% | 50 |
| #14 | abiB sadiM | 45% | 31 |
| #15 | T o s i c | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedSlyer | 12 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Meger | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Heros5k | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | XAN1 | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | T o s i c | 5 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedSlyer | 431 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Lukas | 422 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #3 | Heros5k | 316 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Meger | 259 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Smarty1811 | 182 | 0.12 | 5 min |





