








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3066 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4333 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2563 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2982 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,572,771 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEFINE | 92% | 39 |
| #2 | Neil | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | ECKS | 65% | 72 |
| #4 | Fozzy | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Sam | 57% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ECKS | 65% | 72 |
| #4 | Fozzy | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Sam | 57% | 105 |
| #6 | bran⛟ | 57% | 46 |
| #7 | P1nki | 56% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 14 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | bran⛟ | 12 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | P1nki | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Fozzy | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | ECKS | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1nki | 240 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | ECKS | 196 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | bran⛟ | 147 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sam | 116 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | DEFINE | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEFINE | +2.19 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | ♕ Semmy | +1.93 | 85 | 50 |
| #3 | ECKS | +1.56 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | P1nki | +0.11 | 69 | 43 |
| #5 | bran⛟ | -0.35 | 64 | 57 |





