








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 234 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3526 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2819 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3027 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2650 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,306 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stattik | 75% | 53 |
| #2 | UNT_Saber | 71% | 34 |
| #3 | Claw | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | red bull guzzler | 65% | 181 |
| #5 | Notorious | 65% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Notorious | 65% | 31 |
| #6 | ninjavitis | 64% | 39 |
| #7 | KENZO | 55% | 58 |
| #8 | ☹ | AdamRS | 53% | 30 |
| #9 | makku | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stattik | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | red bull guzzler | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | KENZO | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ninjavitis | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | UNT_Saber | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | red bull guzzler | 668 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | ninjavitis | 213 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | stattik | 197 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Notorious | 149 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | KENZO | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNT_Saber | +2.60 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | red bull guzzler | +2.45 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | stattik | +2.20 | 83 | 74 |
| #4 | ninjavitis | +2.08 | 83 | 79 |
| #5 | william | +1.87 | 84 | 65 |





