








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 538 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 298 matches | ||
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9149 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7609 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5643 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6450 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,938 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 670 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | william | 64% | 39 |
| #8 | makku | 64% | 125 |
| #9 | KENZO | 61% | 286 |
| #10 | Choco | 58% | 92 |
| #11 | R0B0 | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bergly | 12 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | KENZO | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | red bull guzzler | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | muse | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | makku | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENZO | 609 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | red bull guzzler | 531 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Choco | 296 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | makku | 284 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | muse | 280 | 0.18 | 7 min |





