








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1677 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2093 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1903 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1201 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $950,311 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bex | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | zieg0r | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | alfen | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Sway | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | SkyFall | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | .:.Mutzo.:. | 46% | 71 |
| #9 | nizzle | 46% | 112 |
| #10 | The G3ck0 | 44% | 50 |
| #11 | Mo0se | 40% | 72 |
| #12 | muerto | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mo0se | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | muerto | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | bex | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Sway | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | nizzle | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nizzle | 372 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | .:.Mutzo.:. | 190 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sway | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | bex | 122 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mo0se | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chino | +2.06 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | Koli #Karma | +1.96 | 52 | 69 |
| #3 | SkyFall | +1.18 | 62 | 69 |
| #4 | Sway | +1.04 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | nizzle | +0.81 | 72 | 70 |





