








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 221 | 61% |
| Smokes | 69 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 27 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 44 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $34,134 of utility $21 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DreadFury | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | Cobalt | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | Smite | 61% | 49 |
| #4 | im disabled | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | Dr. Wendell Bender | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRAAAH! | 36 | 0.0325 |
| #2 | wizard choo chang | 15 | 0.0304 |
| #3 | Dr. Wendell Bender | 14 | 0.0639 |
| #4 | Cobalt | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Smite | 7 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cobalt | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | GRAAAH! | 69 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jesus Kush | 52 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | wizard choo chang | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | DreadFury | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRAAAH! | +4.68 | 80 | 38 |
| #2 | Cobalt | +1.40 | 65 | 64 |
| #3 | Ra1d3rcs | +0.67 | 63 | 27 |
| #4 | Jesus Kush | +0.53 | 35 | 65 |
| #5 | Smite | +0.47 | 34 | 19 |





