








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1421 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1294 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 513 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1101 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $486,514 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Lax | 50% | 28 |
| #12 | Gillionayre | 49% | 74 |
| #13 | Krelfoy | 44% | 25 |
| #14 | cool guy | 41% | 17 |
| #15 | djtl | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 5 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | Gillionayre | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | twinkle | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Dizzy | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | cool guy | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gillionayre | 102 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | djtl | 79 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Krelfoy | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lax | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dizzy | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | +3.29 | 73 | 47 |
| #2 | djtl | +2.68 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | cool guy | +0.92 | 81 | 46 |
| #4 | Dizzy | +0.69 | 78 | 59 |
| #5 | Valid | +0.57 | 59 | 41 |





