








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 777 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9787 | 35% |
| Smokes | 10114 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3493 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 4724 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,522,222 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1864 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haunt | 59% | 79 |
| #2 | angle ♥ | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | Monsters | 55% | 121 |
| #4 | B3RRG | 51% | 126 |
| #5 | infrnL | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | angle ♥ | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | Monsters | 55% | 121 |
| #4 | B3RRG | 51% | 126 |
| #5 | infrnL | 49% | 73 |
| #6 | AH Mouse | 47% | 515 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AH Mouse | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Haunt | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | angle ♥ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Monsters | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | B3RRG | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monsters | 530 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | infrnL | 392 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #3 | B3RRG | 362 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | angle ♥ | 127 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | AH Mouse | 69 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C.R.E.A.M. | +4.88 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | angle ♥ | +1.49 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | Haunt | +1.11 | 48 | 34 |
| #4 | B3RRG | -0.09 | 88 | 65 |
| #5 | Monsters | -0.51 | 68 | 63 |





