








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 597 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3121 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6157 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3647 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4881 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,054,440 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C.R.E.A.M. | 56% | 78 |
| #2 | peralta | 55% | 103 |
| #3 | B3RRG | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | Treat PhDD | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | ❟❛❟ | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | LongNecc | 49% | 47 |
| #7 | SUPERORGANISM | 49% | 47 |
| #8 | abe | 45% | 125 |
| #9 | cow | 42% | 189 |
| #10 | Treat PhD- | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cow | 23 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | peralta | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | LongNecc | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | SUPERORGANISM | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | abe | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe | 814 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #2 | Treat PhDD | 461 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | cow | 350 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | peralta | 346 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | C.R.E.A.M. | 324 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peralta | +4.45 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | C.R.E.A.M. | +2.99 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Treat PhDD | +2.11 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | SUPERORGANISM | +2.02 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | Treat PhD- | +1.40 | 82 | 65 |





