








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 267 | 25% |
| Smokes | 392 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $124,735 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BabsaN | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Bosse | 55% | 20 |
| #6 | Call me Asparagus | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | Bud Fox | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | La Pasión | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fonk | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Bosse | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Call me Asparagus | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fonk | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | BabsaN | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Call me Asparagus | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | bobozoolander | 19 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bosse | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doctor9 | +5.30 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | Fonk | +1.74 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | bobozoolander | +0.98 | 45 | 53 |
| #4 | La Pasión | -1.39 | 75 | 78 |
| #5 | Bosse | -1.56 | 76 | 52 |





