








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2699 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2450 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3716 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3771 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,444,033 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fonk | 55% | 207 |
| #2 | bobozoolander | 53% | 148 |
| #3 | BabsaN | 53% | 217 |
| #4 | Call me Asparagus | 53% | 188 |
| #5 | Bud Fox | 51% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fonk | 55% | 207 |
| #2 | bobozoolander | 53% | 148 |
| #3 | BabsaN | 53% | 217 |
| #4 | Call me Asparagus | 53% | 188 |
| #5 | Bud Fox | 51% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Call me Asparagus | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | bobozoolander | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Bud Fox | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Fonk | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | BabsaN | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fonk | 700 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Call me Asparagus | 540 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | bobozoolander | 428 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | BabsaN | 379 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Bud Fox | 154 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bosse | +2.02 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | Fonk | +1.07 | 65 | 64 |
| #3 | bobozoolander | +0.12 | 53 | 58 |
| #4 | Call me Asparagus | -0.55 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | Bud Fox | -1.50 | 61 | 41 |





