








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 503 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3049 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2927 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4092 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4521 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,813,795 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frosty | 57% | 86 |
| #2 | Dragon | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | Nikolai❤ | 48% | 176 |
| #4 | Shoddy RANDO | 48% | 216 |
| #5 | PastorDolph | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Shoddy RANDO | 48% | 216 |
| #5 | PastorDolph | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | ॐGokuॐ | 47% | 231 |
| #7 | Cheat-Ah Meow Meow | 46% | 63 |
| #8 | Just Kai | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ॐGokuॐ | 40 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Nikolai❤ | 34 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Shoddy RANDO | 20 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Cheat-Ah Meow Meow | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Just Kai | 5 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoddy RANDO | 729 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | ॐGokuॐ | 632 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | Nikolai❤ | 558 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Frosty | 273 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | PastorDolph | 242 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikolai❤ | +2.45 | 58 | 64 |
| #2 | Shoddy RANDO | +1.22 | 51 | 66 |
| #3 | ॐGokuॐ | +1.08 | 69 | 46 |
| #4 | Cheat-Ah Meow Meow | +0.55 | 51 | 68 |
| #5 | PastorDolph | +0.38 | 39 | 73 |





