








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 843 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 526 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7231 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7767 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5448 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2548 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,002,028 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | 50% | 543 |
| #4 | Jess | 50% | 406 |
| #5 | IdiotSandwhich | 49% | 95 |
| #6 | Roobbaatt | 49% | 129 |
| #7 | LilTigerX | 49% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | 15 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Jess | 15 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Czekalski | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Roobbaatt | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | IdiotSandwhich | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | 1614 | 0.14 | 43 min |
| #2 | Czekalski | 595 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | Roobbaatt | 356 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | LilTigerX | 317 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jess | 309 | 0.04 | 7 min |





