








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13725 | 29% |
| Smokes | 14910 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 10125 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9081 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,681,948 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jess | 48% | 1089 |
| #4 | Roobbaatt | 47% | 299 |
| #5 | Czekalski | 46% | 555 |
| #6 | LilTigerX | 46% | 226 |
| #7 | IdiotSandwhich | 45% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jess | 37 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Czekalski | 22 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Gazzy | 19 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Roobbaatt | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | LilTigerX | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gazzy | 1316 | 0.12 | 32 min |
| #2 | Czekalski | 984 | 0.09 | 23 min |
| #3 | Jess | 821 | 0.04 | 18 min |
| #4 | Roobbaatt | 804 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #5 | LilTigerX | 598 | 0.13 | 13 min |





