








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3996 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4066 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2834 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2781 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $986,015 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiME | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Gazzy | 49% | 121 |
| #3 | IdiotSandwhich | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Czekalski | 48% | 125 |
| #5 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | 46% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Czekalski | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Jess | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Roobbaatt | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Gazzy | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | 619 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Gazzy | 325 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Czekalski | 189 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Roobbaatt | 178 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jess | 163 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gazzy | +1.91 | 61 | 62 |
| #2 | AverageWheelchairEnjoyer | +1.71 | 57 | 60 |
| #3 | IdiotSandwhich | -0.05 | 39 | 38 |
| #4 | Czekalski | -0.20 | 44 | 55 |
| #5 | LilTigerX | -0.68 | 61 | 56 |





