








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4803 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4291 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4437 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2641 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,769 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 419 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyLlama | 52% | 353 |
| #2 | Poseidon水♆ | 50% | 272 |
| #3 | Grembranx | 48% | 91 |
| #4 | ✪Slider | 48% | 166 |
| #5 | EnV1sion- | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poseidon水♆ | 923 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | SexyLlama | 536 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | ✪Slider | 365 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Enduring Atlas | 173 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Strafe- | 162 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyLlama | +2.08 | 87 | 53 |
| #2 | Borkey | +1.54 | 69 | 35 |
| #3 | Grembranx | +1.37 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | DippZ | +1.00 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | Enduring Atlas | +0.74 | 90 | 71 |





