








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 526 | 19% |
| Smokes | 871 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 682 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 644 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,226 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J' | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | ✪Slider | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | SexyLlama | 48% | 105 |
| #4 | DippZ | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | Poseidon水♆ | 46% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Strafe- | 42% | 48 |
| #7 | Grembranx | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | Eerie Kyri | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | Lugia | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | N!gg4B0B | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyLlama | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Poseidon水♆ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Strafe- | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | DippZ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | J' | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poseidon水♆ | 307 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | DippZ | 181 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | SexyLlama | 112 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Strafe- | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪Slider | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J' | +2.08 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | SexyLlama | +1.74 | 85 | 48 |
| #3 | N!gg4B0B | +0.54 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | EnV1sion- | +0.31 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | DippZ | +0.04 | 62 | 62 |





