








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2752 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2596 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2612 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2990 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,096 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnV1sion- | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | SexyLlama | 53% | 293 |
| #3 | DippZ | 48% | 166 |
| #4 | Poseidon水♆ | 48% | 203 |
| #5 | Strafe- | 41% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EnV1sion- | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | SexyLlama | 53% | 293 |
| #3 | DippZ | 48% | 166 |
| #4 | Poseidon水♆ | 48% | 203 |
| #5 | Strafe- | 41% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyLlama | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Poseidon水♆ | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | DippZ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Strafe- | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poseidon水♆ | 723 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | DippZ | 642 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | SexyLlama | 530 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | Strafe- | 114 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | EnV1sion- | 28 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyLlama | +2.42 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | ✪Slider | +0.80 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | EnV1sion- | -0.16 | 67 | 43 |
| #4 | DippZ | -0.45 | 63 | 55 |
| #5 | Strafe- | -1.33 | 68 | 57 |





