








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 359 matches | ||
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4247 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5215 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1687 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3144 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,638,158 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 52 | 60% | 97 |
| #2 | gaz.g | 59% | 124 |
| #3 | abom | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | LolograМ | 58% | 92 |
| #5 | don lemon | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ZADEY_VAL TTV | 49% | 67 |
| #8 | sǝɥɔʇᴉq sʞɔnℲ | 47% | 77 |
| #9 | Jmax | 45% | 47 |
| #10 | Teeka | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | Deev | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jmax | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | sǝɥɔʇᴉq sʞɔnℲ | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Deev | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | gaz.g | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | 52 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaz.g | 428 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | LolograМ | 364 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | sǝɥɔʇᴉq sʞɔnℲ | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ZADEY_VAL TTV | 159 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | abom | 127 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 52 | +3.95 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | LolograМ | +2.70 | 88 | 68 |
| #3 | ZADEY_VAL TTV | +1.82 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | sǝɥɔʇᴉq sʞɔnℲ | +0.99 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | ouibri | +0.03 | 57 | 56 |





