








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 618 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6765 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5352 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4066 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3967 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,167,054 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ricesu | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | AM | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Boofus | 50% | 78 |
| #4 | DREAMsicle | 48% | 182 |
| #5 | ttocSickk | 48% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ttocSickk | 48% | 203 |
| #6 | Miller | 47% | 150 |
| #7 | Meglio | 47% | 89 |
| #8 | Hash | 46% | 41 |
| #9 | Yesh | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttocSickk | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | DREAMsicle | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Miller | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ricesu | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Meglio | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttocSickk | 454 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Miller | 151 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Boofus | 149 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hash | 117 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | DREAMsicle | 99 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hash | +1.75 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | ttocSickk | +0.95 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | ricesu | +0.93 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | silence | +0.49 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | Miller | +0.32 | 80 | 51 |





