








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 998 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3119 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4540 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2882 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2502 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,815,342 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hash | 54% | 284 |
| #2 | Mantis | 54% | 82 |
| #3 | Miller | 53% | 261 |
| #4 | Boofus | 50% | 637 |
| #5 | ricesu | 49% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ricesu | 17 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Yesh | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Boofus | 12 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Hash | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Miller | 9 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boofus | 1409 | 0.11 | 36 min |
| #2 | Hash | 763 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | Yesh | 651 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | Miller | 497 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | Utopia | 276 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hash | +2.88 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | ricesu | +1.78 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | Miller | +1.31 | 84 | 51 |
| #4 | Mantis | +1.14 | 83 | 59 |
| #5 | Meglio | +0.90 | 66 | 43 |





