








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5282 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4425 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3474 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3691 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,632 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larsi_ | 62% | 220 |
| #2 | stianror | 61% | 83 |
| #3 | SanderBe | 59% | 221 |
| #4 | k1ngslayer | 59% | 235 |
| #5 | Chrisfax | 54% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | k1ngslayer | 59% | 235 |
| #5 | Chrisfax | 54% | 68 |
| #6 | Robot1c | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | General Aladean | 45% | 33 |
| #8 | Mike Ermantraut | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1ngslayer | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | SanderBe | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | General Aladean | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Larsi_ | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | stianror | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SanderBe | 1055 | 0.23 | 30 min |
| #2 | k1ngslayer | 1034 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #3 | Larsi_ | 346 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Chrisfax | 250 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | stianror | 168 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SanderBe | +1.66 | 79 | 77 |
| #2 | Robot1c | +1.39 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | Larsi_ | +1.20 | 87 | 57 |
| #4 | k1ngslayer | +0.10 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | SEE | +0.10 | 80 | 73 |





