








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,758 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1335 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1043 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1187 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,193 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SanderBe | 57% | 82 |
| #4 | k1ngslayer | 57% | 92 |
| #5 | Larsi_ | 54% | 110 |
| #6 | ♠️N0rd1C | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | Aell | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1ngslayer | 433 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | SanderBe | 424 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | SEE | 386 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #4 | Larsi_ | 144 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Aell | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SanderBe | +1.71 | 81 | 78 |
| #2 | Larsi_ | +1.45 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | k1ngslayer | +0.38 | 70 | 64 |
| #4 | ♠️N0rd1C | +0.37 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | SEE | +0.02 | 78 | 74 |





