








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 443 | 38% |
| Smokes | 309 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 240 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 178 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,466 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuupo | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | RAPUWU | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | bimbam | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Hylsy | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | shitbacon | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Hosuja | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | shitbacon | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Jombe | 1 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | kuupo | 1 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | KG | Badger9 | 1 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuori Hosuja | 83 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Hylsy | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | RAPUWU | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | shitbacon | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kirjis -_- | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KG | Badger9 | +4.96 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | Hylsy | +3.28 | 73 | 75 |
| #3 | kuupo | +2.88 | 75 | 36 |
| #4 | Nimbex18 | +2.33 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | RAPUWU | +2.24 | 76 | 54 |





