








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 365 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




164 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16576 | 34% |
| Smokes | 12987 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7732 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 11423 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,933,219 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 74% | 155 |
| #2 | Carbon | 69% | 84 |
| #3 | Locke | 68% | 69 |
| #4 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 64% | 76 |
| #5 | ☦Geo777☦ | 64% | 182 |





