








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1073 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1355 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1897 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1673 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,780 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoksMachine | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | BalakehB | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | Sten | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Clubwho | 62% | 76 |
| #5 | harpseal2 | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Little Iron | 56% | 78 |
| #11 | AD2 | 48% | 58 |
| #12 | Double Chunk Choc Enjoyer | 44% | 27 |
| #13 | Bear of bad news | 42% | 12 |
| #14 | Paulmall | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rexy | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Little Iron | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Clubwho | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | AD2 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Ford Gaming | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Iron | 290 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ford Gaming | 286 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Clubwho | 165 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | AD2 | 141 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Keith | 133 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | small sludge | +2.87 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Bear of bad news | +2.22 | 65 | 81 |
| #3 | Rexy | +2.06 | 66 | 42 |
| #4 | Clubwho | +0.46 | 59 | 54 |
| #5 | Ford Gaming | +0.23 | 44 | 61 |





