








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1434 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1065 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1148 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 649 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,195 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoksMachine | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | small sludge | 62% | 76 |
| #3 | BalakehB | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | nase | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | Keith | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Paulmall | 45% | 33 |
| #11 | harpseal2 | 45% | 20 |
| #12 | AD2 | 42% | 52 |
| #13 | Bear of bad news | 42% | 12 |
| #14 | Large Stone Statue | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Iron | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Rexy | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Ford Gaming | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | small sludge | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | AD2 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ford Gaming | 331 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Little Iron | 247 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | small sludge | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rexy | 127 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | AD2 | 113 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nase | +3.00 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | small sludge | +2.80 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Bear of bad news | +1.62 | 75 | 82 |
| #4 | Rexy | +1.61 | 66 | 45 |
| #5 | FoksMachine | +0.02 | 75 | 58 |





