








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 380 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2491 | 12% |
| Smokes | 5201 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8518 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 3904 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,463,560 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2615 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | small sludge | 58% | 139 |
| #2 | Keith | 53% | 124 |
| #3 | nase | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | BalakehB | 51% | 138 |
| #5 | Clubwho | 51% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | KFC Zinger Box | 43% | 74 |
| #15 | Rhynodon | 41% | 91 |
| #16 | SiqM | 35% | 51 |
| #17 | The Toaster | 35% | 77 |
| #18 | Double Chunk Choc Enjoyer | 31% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ford Gaming | 21 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Little Iron | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Large Stone Statue | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | AD2 | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Clubwho | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ford Gaming | 1638 | 0.23 | 32 min |
| #2 | Little Iron | 1351 | 0.19 | 38 min |
| #3 | AD2 | 582 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Keith | 515 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #5 | Large Stone Statue | 448 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nase | +3.04 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Rexy | +2.89 | 68 | 48 |
| #3 | small sludge | +2.64 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | FoksMachine | +1.02 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | BalakehB | +0.04 | 71 | 53 |





