








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2257 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1398 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1998 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1165 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,681 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AtomicCaleb | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | small sludge | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | KFC Zinger Box | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Little Iron | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | BalakehB | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | The Toaster | 45% | 20 |
| #14 | AD2 | 44% | 57 |
| #15 | FoksMachine | 42% | 24 |
| #16 | nase | 33% | 18 |
| #17 | Double Chunk Choc Enjoyer | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AD2 | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Large Stone Statue | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Little Iron | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Ford Gaming | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Bear of bad news | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ford Gaming | 204 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Bear of bad news | 193 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #3 | Little Iron | 173 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | AD2 | 170 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rexy | 154 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rexy | +2.75 | 68 | 52 |
| #2 | Bear of bad news | +2.27 | 71 | 78 |
| #3 | nase | +2.20 | 81 | 54 |
| #4 | small sludge | +1.99 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | FoksMachine | +1.99 | 73 | 58 |





