








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2050 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2324 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2451 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2286 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,255 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rooss | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | the midmeister | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | black | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | 6|9 MEL | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | ㋡ | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | Zeke | 41% | 34 |
| #19 | [SFS] iRiSH | 39% | 31 |
| #20 | SchifferPro | 37% | 35 |
| #21 | [SFS] Nology | 32% | 19 |
| #22 | ✪ Twixx3r | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dream | 198 | 0.37 | 6 min |
| #2 | dupLicAte_Names | 103 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zeke | 92 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪ Twixx3r | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Solus | 81 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the midmeister | +3.59 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | Rooss | +2.21 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | ✪J. | +1.75 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | Zeke | +1.34 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | Dream | +1.24 | 50 | 82 |





