








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3423 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2174 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1623 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2501 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,942 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bella | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | sun | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | isis | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | socks | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | Ben246813 | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ethical bum sniffer | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | L3monlime | 7 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Yu Mei | 7 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | sun | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | isis | 6 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3monlime | +5.30 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | isis | +5.00 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | sun | +4.61 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | Ben246813 | +3.33 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | trash cunt | +2.27 | 86 | 58 |





