








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 2,266 | |
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 515 | 19% |
| Smokes | 688 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 796 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 750 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $154,441 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | xdpiratmanden * 3F | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | KralleJ | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | Borsty | 47% | 38 |
| #10 | blAmse | 43% | 28 |
| #11 | Xywzz | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borsty | 10 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | KralleJ | 6 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | blAmse | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | AllTiming | 4 | 0.0248 |
| #5 | m | 2 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KralleJ | 123 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | blAmse | 121 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Borsty | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | BeastWTB | 67 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | xdpiratmanden * 3F | 63 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KralleJ | +3.41 | 93 | 68 |
| #2 | m | +3.12 | 49 | 62 |
| #3 | Zaq | +2.11 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | Borsty | +1.84 | 89 | 60 |
| #5 | AllTiming | +1.40 | 84 | 60 |





