








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 29 matches | 2,361 | |
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 572 | 22% |
| Smokes | 429 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 873 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 751 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,617 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaq | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | xdpiratmanden * 3F | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | KralleJ | 57% | 49 |
| #4 | cloudy | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | MEO | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MEO | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | BeastWTB | 55% | 33 |
| #7 | Xywzz | 52% | 23 |
| #8 | RasmusAS | 47% | 38 |
| #9 | blAmse | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KralleJ | 24 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | Zaq | 9 | 0.0292 |
| #3 | MEO | 6 | 0.0324 |
| #4 | RasmusAS | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | blAmse | 5 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KralleJ | 243 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | blAmse | 154 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | BeastWTB | 91 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Xywzz | 91 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | RasmusAS | 67 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaq | +4.28 | 81 | 41 |
| #2 | KralleJ | +4.20 | 93 | 72 |
| #3 | Borsty | +2.60 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | blAmse | +0.39 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | BeastWTB | +0.19 | 80 | 63 |





