








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 172 | 7% |
| Smokes | 930 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1039 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 367 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,766 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemacc | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | _Schauby | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | neo | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | ez | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Nworpass | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neo | 87 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #2 | MBektic | 68 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nugatory | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rihawn | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nworpass | +5.99 | 66 | 45 |
| #2 | MBektic | +3.40 | 73 | 43 |
| #3 | Orby | +2.97 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | I Am Going To Commit Tax Fraud | +2.94 | 72 | 34 |
| #5 | neo | +1.87 | 64 | 77 |





