








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 728 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 224 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 2,230 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5657 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5421 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3593 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4092 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $878,272 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vibZ3t0r1 | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | LS | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | aLendo | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | qqqqq | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | Sajalol | 61% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Repli | 55% | 100 |
| #14 | HUGO BAWS | 53% | 73 |
| #15 | thor | 52% | 44 |
| #16 | zanee- | 46% | 39 |
| #17 | sensei bjarne | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUGO BAWS | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | iceman tookz | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | baerben | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | termiiqk | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | bressan-hsk | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceman tookz | 520 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | HUGO BAWS | 334 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | Sajalol | 239 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | termiiqk | 231 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | LYNZERK[9] | 211 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | +3.36 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | aha... | +2.42 | 87 | 82 |
| #3 | bressan-hsk | +2.20 | 75 | 47 |
| #4 | thor | +0.78 | 84 | 62 |
| #5 | baerben | +0.66 | 83 | 59 |





