








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2867 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3044 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1835 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2708 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,015 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EPIC DUDE | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Okalele | 55% | 99 |
| #3 | Sverdfisk | 53% | 189 |
| #4 | KVASS | 53% | 184 |
| #5 | maurjegeren_SKINS | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Okalele | 55% | 99 |
| #3 | Sverdfisk | 53% | 189 |
| #4 | KVASS | 53% | 184 |
| #5 | maurjegeren_SKINS | 42% | 19 |
| #6 | Chips | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KVASS | 22 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Okalele | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Sverdfisk | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | EPIC DUDE | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sverdfisk | 582 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | KVASS | 308 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Okalele | 162 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chips | 60 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | maurjegeren_SKINS | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | japalenowo | +2.69 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Sverdfisk | +0.95 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | KVASS | +0.36 | 80 | 52 |
| #4 | maurjegeren_SKINS | -1.70 | 44 | 51 |
| #5 | Okalele | -2.18 | 64 | 54 |





