










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1064 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2601 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3101 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3292 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1477 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,801,235 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sverdfisk | 56% | 84 |
| #2 | japalenowo | 55% | 99 |
| #3 | KVASS | 51% | 175 |
| #4 | Even | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | Rivers | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bottom fagger | 32 | 0.0275 |
| #2 | KVASS | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | [PoTaTo Clan] | LamaDakc | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | maurjegeren_SKINS | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | japalenowo | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | japalenowo | 437 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | KVASS | 359 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Chips | 300 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sverdfisk | 214 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bottom fagger | 210 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | japalenowo | +2.92 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Bottom fagger | +2.56 | 83 | 37 |
| #3 | KVASS | +2.06 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | Sverdfisk | +1.47 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | Even | +1.19 | 56 | 47 |





