








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2143 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3535 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2945 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2325 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $787,360 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fissefred er her | 52% | 67 |
| #2 | Kexien | 52% | 130 |
| #3 | Maknum | 51% | 91 |
| #4 | Panda | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | T-Bone | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Maknum | 51% | 91 |
| #4 | Panda | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | T-Bone | 49% | 55 |
| #6 | cYung | 46% | 205 |
| #7 | Swaghetti Yolonese | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cYung | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Kexien | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Maknum | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cYung | 787 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | Kexien | 360 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Maknum | 175 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fissefred er her | 104 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | T-Bone | 99 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kexien | +3.10 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | Maknum | +2.68 | 87 | 65 |
| #3 | T-Bone | +0.69 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | cYung | +0.02 | 56 | 73 |
| #5 | Panda | -1.29 | 52 | 58 |





