








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 750 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1223 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 690 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1074 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,135 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fissefred er her | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Kexien | 56% | 95 |
| #3 | Swaghetti Yolonese | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | T-Bone | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | cYung | 50% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cYung | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Kexien | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Maknum | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cYung | 532 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kexien | 340 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | T-Bone | 133 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Maknum | 121 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zewex | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kexien | +3.46 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Maknum | +3.01 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | T-Bone | +0.61 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | cYung | -0.15 | 58 | 70 |
| #5 | Panda | -1.51 | 50 | 58 |





