








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1104 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1377 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1260 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,371 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Zewex | 49% | 55 |
| #6 | cYung | 48% | 120 |
| #7 | Maknum | 48% | 40 |
| #8 | Fissefred er her | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | Swaghetti Yolonese | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cYung | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Kexien | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Panda | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Zewex | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Drkwn | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cYung | 511 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kexien | 243 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Panda | 86 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Maknum | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zewex | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kexien | +2.97 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | Maknum | +1.89 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | T-Bone | +0.16 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | cYung | -0.84 | 53 | 76 |
| #5 | Drkwn | -1.40 | 41 | 55 |





