








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 357 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1596 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1469 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1782 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,700 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 490 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Sexy Egg Man | 27% | 15 |
| #17 | AJ_Gamming | 27% | 15 |
| #18 | toe tickler | 23% | 13 |
| #19 | SchloobyTubestein | 17% | 12 |
| #20 | mchammerpants | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John T. Cowboy | 86 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | Qlick | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | AJ_Gamming | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Buzzboy4567 | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rod wave | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlick | +5.90 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | Bankerr | +4.16 | 77 | 34 |
| #3 | Rod wave | +1.82 | 56 | 48 |
| #4 | PiKo | +1.33 | 48 | 37 |
| #5 | Striker-Nick | +1.06 | 67 | 62 |





