








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 807 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 509 | 5% |
| Smokes | 4609 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 2863 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2911 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,891,918 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 586 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNOW | 53% | 91 |
| #2 | SouthBeachSloth | 53% | 93 |
| #3 | tang | 51% | 81 |
| #4 | Bankerr | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Burch | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John T. Cowboy | 667 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | SchloobyTubestein | 592 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Qlick | 432 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | tousle | 251 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Striker-Nick | 167 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qlick | +5.42 | 70 | 55 |
| #2 | tousle | +5.06 | 79 | 72 |
| #3 | Bankerr | +3.16 | 64 | 50 |
| #4 | Hero_Elementz | +2.11 | 52 | 34 |
| #5 | Burch | +1.96 | 79 | 57 |





