








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3744 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3536 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1636 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2617 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,040 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aMo | 62% | 61 |
| #2 | yung spook | 62% | 118 |
| #3 | ilmari | 58% | 177 |
| #4 | alicerawr | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Copes | 56% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Copes | 56% | 112 |
| #6 | Leo | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Gabeki | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | mxnstrx | 48% | 46 |
| #9 | ASAP Bosh | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ilmari | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Copes | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | yung spook | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | aMo | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | mxnstrx | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Copes | 515 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | ilmari | 360 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | mxnstrx | 268 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | yung spook | 203 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | aMo | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ilmari | +3.51 | 90 | 52 |
| #2 | alicerawr | +2.28 | 94 | 60 |
| #3 | Copes | +1.67 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Leo | +0.98 | 49 | 44 |
| #5 | aMo | +0.43 | 91 | 50 |





