








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 810 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4289 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3899 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4039 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4468 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,745,613 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 950 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TacoMan | 78% | 41 |
| #2 | avery | 71% | 31 |
| #3 | ASAP Bosh | 69% | 32 |
| #4 | ilmari | 67% | 51 |
| #5 | Peanuts | 66% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | beasley | 56% | 50 |
| #15 | toasty | 55% | 65 |
| #16 | kev | 55% | 38 |
| #17 | chnce | 54% | 99 |
| #18 | Gabeki | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Copes | 42 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | M.C.Double | 42 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Peanuts | 23 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Gabeki | 14 | 0.0158 |
| #5 | ball | 12 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Copes | 2013 | 0.25 | 52 min |
| #2 | 1der | 501 | 0.46 | 15 min |
| #3 | chnce | 319 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | yung spook | 314 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Peanuts | 206 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1der | +3.49 | 88 | 87 |
| #2 | alicerawr | +3.30 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | Copes | +2.54 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | ilmari | +1.94 | 87 | 55 |
| #5 | avery | +1.27 | 79 | 64 |





