








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2279 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2260 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 976 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1286 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,951 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M.C.Double | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | alicerawr | 67% | 51 |
| #3 | aMo | 63% | 63 |
| #4 | yung spook | 60% | 193 |
| #5 | Copes | 59% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Peanuts | 56% | 16 |
| #8 | Canned Coochie | 56% | 16 |
| #9 | mxnstrx | 56% | 27 |
| #10 | ASAP Bosh | 50% | 40 |
| #11 | UrangDinkster42 | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Copes | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | yung spook | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Tony Cannoli | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | aMo | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Peanuts | 3 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Cannoli | 1134 | 0.31 | 28 min |
| #2 | Copes | 778 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #3 | yung spook | 416 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | mxnstrx | 144 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | alicerawr | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alicerawr | +4.20 | 93 | 60 |
| #2 | ilmari | +3.07 | 89 | 54 |
| #3 | Copes | +1.88 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | mxnstrx | -0.02 | 68 | 77 |
| #5 | aMo | -0.32 | 92 | 50 |





